Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently—and far less seriously—than its male counterpart.

That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it—and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible.

"Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski is all about breaking down myths surrounding female sexuality and presenting a more accurate, science-based understanding. The book delves into the complexities of women's sexual well-being, getting rid of all the unrealistic and often harmful standards set by society.

Nagoski introduces this cool framework called "dual-control model," which talks about how every individual has a sexual "accelerator" and a "brake." The accelerator responds to sexually relevant stimuli, while the brake is all about the things that shut sexual response down. The balance between the two can differ from person to person, and understanding this can greatly improve one's sexual experiences.

The book also gets into how stress, mood, trust, and body image play a massive role in sexual health. It emphasizes the importance of "responsive desire" over "spontaneous desire," knocking down the myth that you should always be "in the mood." It advocates for embracing your body and its sexual responses as they are, rather than what society says they should be.

In essence, "Come as You Are" aims to empower women (and really, people of all genders) to understand and accept their own sexualities, by arming them with the facts, and cutting through the B.S. that society feeds us. It's a lot about letting go of external judgments and tuning into your own body's signals.

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