Can Single Women Attend Swinger Clubs?

There are two reasons I wanted to write this post; firstly because I wrote an article recently titled 'Can Single Men Visit Swinger Clubs?' and why should they get all the advice? And secondly, I asked my followers to get in touch with their questions, and my DM inbox has been bursting with replies. I am, after all, here to answer all your swinger, relationship and lifestyle-related queries! So, if you are sitting comfortably, I shall begin.

Dear thiskindagirl,
I'd like to know how it is for straight single women at clubs. I'm hoping to start going to clubs/parties etc., but I'm not interested in FF action (I'm not even sure if I'd want to play with a couple yet), but I want to meet bi men and MM bi couples. Are single straight women accepted at clubs okay? Will I spend my whole time turning down couples? What are your tips for meeting a bi male? What type of men visit clubs? Thank you in advance. L xx

Single Women At Swinger Clubs

Regardless of whether you are straight or Bisexual, how you like to have sex and with who you want to do it with, several rules apply to all single female swingers.

Single women are embraced and encouraged in the swinger world. You only have to look at the cost differences for tickets to see how eager clubs are to get single girls through the door.

Yes, there are certainly a lot of Bisexual single girls in the swinger lifestyle, but straight single women are also accepted. Some events cater primarily for single women and couples, so do some research first, so you dont end up at the wrong type of event.

If you are a straight woman and find yourself at a swingers party, you will have to establish with other swingers that you are a straight woman, and not looking for FF action, as many couples who attend parties are Bi. Now, this might reduce your chances of playing, but straight couples do attend parties as well a single guys.

What Type Of People Attend Swingers Clubs?

Swinging attracts so many different types of people all with different ideas about what makes sex great. There is no right and wrong way to get down!

When it comes to swingers clubs, you get straight couples, Bisexual couples, fully Bisexual couples (where both partners are bi), straight men, Bisexual men, throuples, single girls and trans people, all of whom are there to enjoy sex and swinging. Some clubs specialise in fetish and kink events and have their own BDSM equipment and have resident dominatrixes and Doms. Some clubs cater for dominant woman and their submissives, others have orgy and gangbang nights! So there really is something for everyone!

The best thing to do is consider what you want to experience. Sometimes you're not sure at first, and this is fine; perhaps go to a club just to watch, chat and socialise with other swingers. There are no expectations, and you will find that most swingers are very laid back and happy to chat.  

Are Single Women Turned Down By Couples?

I remember a few years ago, I was chatting to a single female swinger. She had attended the party on her own and was feeling quite nervous about approaching couples as she identified as straight and was concerned she would continuously get turned down. We spoke for quite a while, and I could tell she was very secure in who she was.

She knew what she wanted and was not looking for any drama. To hear this was very reassuring! Plus the fact that she was so open with us was very sexy! I asked her if she would like to join my partner and me in a private playroom, she agreed, and he had sex with her whilst I sat on his face. Although I do prefer to play with Bisexual women and couples, on this occasion, playing with a straight female was perfectly enjoyable. Plus, I called the shots, which made me feel a lot more comfortable about the whole situation.

Are Clubs Safe For Single Women?

Another question I am asked frequently is; 'are swinger clubs safe? I want to attend as a single girl. What should I be concerned about?'
Understandably, safety is paramount when single women are looking to attend a swingers club. You don't want to be getting down to it and be looking over your shoulder, concerned about what's happening around you.

Luckily, swinger club owners are safety conscious, and they work hard to create a relaxed and safe environment for all their guests. The last thing they want is for people to feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Of course, you should always practice safe sex and have your own rules and boundaries that you follow when playing with people. Don't be afraid to state what you are and aren't okay with.

If you find the prospect of attending a swingers club a daunting one, especially where there are single males, then you could always attend with a friend. Even if you both don't plan on swinging; if it's your first time, you may feel more confident with someone else. Failing that, do as the single girl I spoke to did and approach a woman in a couple. If it's your first time, explain that your not looking to get involved directly straight away and would like to chat whilst you familiarised yourself to your surroundings and got comfortable. Always ask for a tour of the club and play space when you arrive so you can familiarise yourself.

How Expensive Are Clubs For Single Women?

It's a well-known fact that swinger clubs are considerably less for single women, and it's the single men who have to pay a premium to attend. I have even seen some clubs and events that are free to single girls as they really want to get single women through the door! There's a chance that you will have to make a membership for some clubs. But don't be put off, this rule applies for all members, regardless of their gender or relationship status. The good thing about a members-only club is that the members all have to be 'approved' and pay a fee before they can attend. You can't simply walk in off the street and go. This exclusivity puts the people who are attending in a much better position as they are usually serious swingers or established couples who know what they want. After all, you wouldn't make a membership and pay for the privilege if you weren't interested in the first place.

What Are The Rules For Single Female Swingers?

Ah, the rules of swinging! A topic that I do like to write about, but rules are so important. To have a great time at a swingers club, you should draw up a list of rules and personal boundaries first. I do have a post on personal rules when swinging, but as a guide, here are my TOP 5 rules for single female swingers;

• Never be coerced into sex, swinging or any type of play you are not comfortable with. Know what you like and want and stick to it. Just because others may enjoy group sex or FF action, it doesn't mean you should feel pressured into it.
• If the party is BYOB as opposed to having a bar, then pour your own drinks. Many clubs have fridges where you can store your own alcohol. Know exactly what's in your glass, before you drink it. I follow this rule, even now!
• Wear whatever you feel comfortable in! Some women strip off, some don't. Some get changed halfway through the night. The choice is entirely up to you. Not sure how to dress? Check out my guide!
• Accept rejection gracefully and don't let it put you off. We all face rejection from time to time, and it never gets easier! The only thing you can do is accept it and move on. Trust me, I've been rejected by swinger couples, and single swingers in the past and the best course of action is to brush it aside!
• Take time out to reconnect after swinging. Consider what you enjoyed, and perhaps what you didn't? Run a deep bath and soak in the bubbles. It's so important that you reconnect with your own emotions after swinging!

How Single Women Can Approach Couples

Single women, regardless of their sexuality or desires, can be seen as a threat by some couples. Even those are looking for a unicorn will be suspicious of a single woman who wants to get involved. This suspicion does ease over time, but it's essential to understand why some couples may feel threatened. Opening up your relationship is a daunting one, and the thought of introducing other people into your intimate life together is a scary prospect. I have an article on swinging and jealousy that covers this, so If you are feeling a touch envious or suspect you might do in the future, do check it out.

Some women have concerns that their partner might enjoy sex with a single woman more, or a single woman might develop feelings for the man after having sex.

These concerns are genuine, and before I became a smart swinger, I, too, was worried about introducing a single woman into the mix and having a threesome. (even though I wanted to)

So, what can single women do to reassure couples that they aren't going to run off with one of them? Firstly, if you present yourself as a rock-solid swinger, someone who knows what she wants and doesn't want, this works wonders! Be sure in what you would like, even if you're going to watch, dance or chat, then say so simply. If you have attended a club because you want to meet a single guy, then say so, you can still chat with lots of couples and engage in conversation with them whilst the party gets underway.

If you don't identify as Bisexual, but other women do, don't go along with it just to have sex with the man. Once I was in a situation, where a woman begrudgingly offered to play me in order to have sex with the guy, and it was a major turn off.

If you want to have sex with someone's husband or boyfriend, wife or girlfriend, then you need to be respectful. Only talking and flirting with the person you want to have sex with is very unappealing and disrespectful. S and I refuse to play with men and women who don't engage in conversation with us both.

Rosie Kay