You have been chatting with another couple online, and perhaps you have had a swinger first date where you guys have discussed your expectations, limits and kinks. You have all gotten to know one another, and you like what you see! It’s only natural that you then want to meet up and turn all your fantasies into realities!
Here are a few of my top tips for swinging with another couple:

• It would be best if you established where it is acceptable to orgasm before you orgasm! You also should ask if it is okay to squirt or not, as again, some couples object.
• Don’t bite, scratch or bruise another couple.
• Don’t change the rules partway through!
• While having sex, you should never ask if you are better than their partner!  
• If using sex toys, then be sure to use them with protection and wash and sanitise them after use.
• Never take pictures of other swingers without their consent.

But how do you do this? Is there certain etiquette you have you have to follow when swinging with another couple? Having your first intimate playtime with other swingers doesn’t have to be scary. Follow my masterclass in how to swing with another couple and make sure your first time is a memorable one!

WHERE TO MEET SWINGERS

After chatting with another couple, sometimes you can arrange to meet either at a local swingers club, swingers event or in private. I prefer to meet on neutral ground as opposed to their place or my own home. Learning how to swing with another couple takes some practice, you may be surprised!

A hotel or private apartment is always preferable for me if meeting in a private setting. If you do want to host another couple, then I suggest using a spare room or even the lounge to play in. Personally, I wouldn’t say I like blurring swinger world with my own private space, so I wouldn’t encourage the use of your bedroom. Meeting in a private apartment, such as an Airbnb can be a good compromise between hotel and home, especially if you are concerned about being discreet.

BEFORE YOU MEET SWINGERS

Chances are if it’s their first time too they will be equally as nervous!

Chances are you have spent a while messaging on WhatsApp and have already met face to face. You know what each couple likes and dislikes and their levels of comfort. Always take time to familiarise yourselves with the other couples limits, so you hit it off on the right note! Bringing along a butt plug is going to be a turn off for them if they said absolutely no anal sex.

It’s a good idea to refresh your memory, so read through the messages you have exchanged to pick up on anything they have said that you can include, making the meeting an even more memorable one. For example, if they said they enjoy a massage with another couple, then bringing along some massage oil might be an unexpected treat for them!

I always like to take my time and get ready slowly before any type of swinging play. Discussing how excited I am with my partner as we get dressed is quite the turn-on!

BEGINNING SWINGING WITH A COUPLE

If you are anything like me, then you will probably be pretty horny when you arrive! It may be tempting to get straight down to it, but you should build up that connection again first. A polite kiss on the cheek to say hello is always preferable as is bringing along a bottle of something to drink.

Discussing how you feel about the evening and re-establishing limits again isn’t a bad idea. It is vital to ensure you are all on the same page before you start!
Have a drink and settle down onto the sofas and relax. Very often, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform or be a certain way. It’s natural to feel nervous, and it is essential to remember that no one should pressure you into a sexual situation. Chances are if it’s their first time too they will be equally as nervous!

HOW TO PLAY WITH SWINGERS

The transition from smooching on the sofa with a glass of prosecco to having sex with another guy is a gradual one. The slower you take things, the greater the enjoyment and the less pressure you will all feel. Now, it may be tempting to tear one another’s clothes off and dive in, but trust me, this is not ideal.

You can start by giving your partner a blow job or letting his hands slide into you. Chances are the other couple will do the same, or perhaps they will simply want to watch at first. Just as a heads, up (excuse the pun) the blow job technique works every time!
It’s vital to ensure you use protection from the off! Should the other couple want to join in on that blowjob, they need to be protected. From here, I have found that in my experience, things naturally progress and gradually you all begin to relax into it. It’s perfectly normal to have sex for a while, relax, chat, and have sex again throughout the night. No one expects a three-hour sex extravaganza! Taking time to chill out in between playing is essential.

You can get extremely tired when swinging so take it steady!

FEELINGS AFTER SWINGING

I tend not to linger for too long after swinging in any situation as I like to reconnect with my partner in privacy. If you have met at a club, then don’t feel obliged to stay and chat with them all night. There are plenty more couples to meet and potentially play with! If you have met in a hotel, sometimes one of the couples (usually the ones who have booked it) stay there overnight. If this is the case, then I like to respect their privacy and leave them to relax in peace.

Likewise, if I have organised the accommodation then merely announcing that I’m exhausted and going for a long bath usually does the trick! Even if I have met at a couples home, I prefer not to stay as I do like to return to my own space to reflect on the swinging in private.

Reconnecting with your partner after swinging is crucial. Read my advice on reconnecting after swinging for all my top tips!
Sending a polite text or message the next day in my experience is always well received. If you had a great time, tell them, but don’t intrude on their regular lives!

10 TOP TIPS FOR SWINGING WITH ANOTHER COUPLE

• It would be best if you established where it is acceptable for the men to orgasm, before they orgasm! Some couples are okay with it being inside the woman (or man) as long as a condom is worn. Whereas some couples don’t like to take the risk. You also should ask if it is okay for a woman to squirt or not, as again, some couples object.
• Don’t bite, scratch or bruise another couple. You may want to spank that ass, but trust me, leaving marks of any sort is not cool. I am very cautious about anything that could potentially break the surface of the skin. We put a lot of effort into using protection, so don’t run the risk of drawing blood!
• Don’t change the rules partway through! Stick to what you have discussed and established.
• If you are hosting at home, take time out to really set the scene. Think candles, soft lighting and an essential oil burner to engage all the senses!
• While having sex, you should never ask if you are better than their partner! This is an absolute no no! It is incredibly rude!
• If using sex toys, then be sure to use them with protection and wash and sanitise them after use.
• After you have finished playing, don’t cling to one another; it looks needy! It would be best if you reconnected in your own space.
• Don’t bombard the other couple with texts the next day. One or two is friendly and conscientious.
• Never take pictures of other swingers without their consent.
• Have a code word in a place that you can use with your partner in place of verbalising your concerns. Much the same as how a codeword can be used in an orgy situation, your partner will instantly recognise you are uncomfortable and stop play.
• If the other couple has arranged and paid for the hotel or apartment then bringing along a nice bottle of champagne or even a luxurious bouquet is a lovely gesture.

Rosie Kay