Nearly 60% of men fantasize about seeing their wives having sexual pleasure with another man. Approximately 30% of women have similar feelings about their husbands.

Compersion is the term most frequently associated with this phenomenon. However, Candaulism is a lesser-known term related to this phenomenon.

There is some overlap between Compersion and Candaulism. Compersion is more about the relationship, while Candualism is more about sexual activity.

Compersion

Compersion is the joy we experience from the knowledge that our partner is experiencing joy in another relationship. Often this is romantic or sexual joy.

A man may feel joy thinking about his wife's happiness with her new lover. First, the man feels happy because his wife is reminiscing over her recent tryst with her lover. Then, the man feels pleased because his wife eagerly anticipates her next visit with her lover. The man's feelings of joy and happiness could be termed Compersion.

Candualism

Candaulism refers to the joy one feels at witnessing their partner's sexual activity.

The joy the husband feels while witnessing his wife's sexual ecstasy with her lover might be more accurately termed Candaulism. Candaulism is a voyeuristic fetish that may involve the husband watching his wife with her sexual partner or showing images of his wife to others for the husband's voyeuristic pleasure.

We can imagine that Compersion and Candaulism are two neighbors sharing a duplex.

Compersion in Polyamory

In polyamorous relationships, Compersion is more about the joy of knowing that your partner invests themselves in another relationship that brings them joy.

Compersion and Candaulism in the Lifestyle

The general public understands the term Cuckolding to refer to a man who accepts that his wife has sex with another man.

The Lifestyle community has several specific terms, all with slightly different meanings.

Cuckolding

Cuckolding in the Lifestyle implies that the husband has a fetish for sexual humiliation. He enjoys being put in his place by a "real man" who can please his wife. He enjoys being denied sexual favors by his wife because she views him as inadequate. His wife might lock his cock and balls in a cage so he cannot please himself without her consent. She might tie him to a chair to force him to watch, powerless, as she has sex with her lover before her husband.

Cuckquean

Cuckqueening refers to a woman's joy at witnessing or knowing about her husband's sexual pleasure with another.

Lifestyle people use this term as the feminine equivalent to the entire range of Cuckolding, Hotwifing, and Stag & Vixen. However, don't assume that term implies a humiliation fetish, as in Cuckolding.

Stag & Vixen

Stag & Vixen is a term specific to the Lifestyle. In this scenario, the husband does not have a humiliation fetish. Instead, the husband enjoys watching his wife experience sexual pleasure with another while he takes a more active and dominant role. The Stag may direct the activities of his wife and her lover. The Stag may also join the sexual activities to create an MFM scenario.

Hotwifing

Hotwifing is a more general term in the Lifestyle, which may span elements of both Cuckolding and Stag Vixen. Hotwifing doesn't necessarily imply a humiliation fetish like Cuckolding. However, some cuckolds might use this term. Likewise, Hotwifing doesn't necessarily mean the more active participation or dominant direction of the Stag. However, some Stags might use this term.

Hotwifing would be a good term for the following situation. The man enjoys seeing his wife in sexual ecstasy with another or knowing that his wife is in sexual ecstasy with another, as when she leaves home for a tryst. The man doesn't have a humiliation fetish like the cuckold. The man also experiences joy at thinking about his wife's sexual pleasure, but without having to direct or participate.

Do you fall into one of these categories? If so, which one? 

• Cuckold
• Cuckquean 
• Stag & Vixen
• Hotwife
• None of the above