What should we take when meeting a swinger couple at their house?

What should we take when meeting a swinger couple at their house? 

Hi Rosie, my wife and I started swinging about six months ago, and we have so far been to a swingers club- where we had a soft swap experience and have also been talking to some swinger couples online with the hope of meeting up for a date and maybe more! The last time we spoke to a couple online, they told us about a private meet at their house they were planning, and this got us thinking: should my wife and I choose to attend, what items should we take when meeting a swinger couple at their house? We don't want to turn up under-prepared, but we also don't want to look over eager!!

Any advice is appreciated!

Anonymous couple, Ohio.

Hi Ohio couple, 

Thank you for your question; attending a private swinger party is quite different from any large-scale or organised event, and sometimes, knowing the correct etiquette to follow can prove more difficult than getting down to it! Do you take drinks? Do you take a gift? Can you take sex toys, and what are the unwritten swinger rules of playing in another couple's house? 

It sounds like you are already chatting with other swingers online or via messenger, which is great as you know what each couple likes and dislikes and their levels of comfort. Always take time to familiarise yourselves with the other couples' limits so you hit it off on the right note! Bringing along a butt plug is going to be a turn-off for them if they say absolutely no anal sex. It’s a good idea to refresh your memory, so read through the messages you have exchanged to pick up on anything they have said that you can include, making the meeting an even more memorable one. For example, if they say they enjoy a massage with another couple, then bringing along some massage oil might be an unexpected treat for them!

When you arrive, it may be tempting to get straight down to it, but you should build up that connection again first. A polite kiss on the cheek to say hello is always preferable, as is bringing along a bottle of something to drink. Discussing how you feel about the evening and re-establishing limits again isn’t a bad idea. It is vital to ensure you are all on the same page before you start! Have a drink and settle down onto the sofas and relax. Very often, we place a lot of pressure on ourselves to perform or be a certain way. It’s natural to feel nervous, and it is essential to remember that no one should pressure you into a sexual situation. Chances are, they will be equally as nervous!

When meeting a swinger couple at their house, it's important to be respectful, considerate, and prepared. Here are some items you might consider bringing:

Personal Items Condoms: Always bring your own protection. It's important to practice safe sex.

Lubricant: Some couples might provide it, but it's always good to have your own preferred type.

Toiletries: Personal hygiene products like mouthwash, breath mints, deodorant, and wet wipes.

Change of clothes: In case you want to freshen up or if the evening is longer than expected.

Personal Toys: If you have sex toys that you prefer to use, ensure they are clean and bring them along. Always wash them after use and  use them with protection! 

Considerate Gifts Wine or Champagne: A nice bottle can be a good icebreaker and a polite gesture.

Chocolates or Snacks: Something to share and enjoy together.

Flowers: A small bouquet can be a nice touch, though not necessary.

Hygiene and Cleanliness Towels: Some people prefer to bring their own, although your hosts will likely provide them.

Hand Sanitizer: For general cleanliness.

Communication and Comfort Communication Devices: Keep your phone on silent but accessible in case of emergencies.

Consent and Boundaries List: If you have specific boundaries or preferences, it can be helpful to have these noted down, though this should ideally be discussed beforehand.

Cash: In case you need to cover transportation or any other unexpected expenses.

Additional Tips Discuss Expectations: Have clear communication with the couple about boundaries, preferences, and expectations before the meeting.

Dress Appropriately: Wear something comfortable yet appealing. Consider the ambience of the gathering.

Be On Time: Punctuality shows respect for the couple's time and effort in hosting. Being prepared and respectful will help ensure a positive experience for everyone involved.

Rosie x

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