Hi, Rosie, Is your wife cuckolding you with your boss too risky?

Hi, Rosie, Is your wife cuckolding you with your boss too risky? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, as it's something that has been going around in my mind for so long. Do you think it's possible, or am I just going to cause problems by even suggesting it? Thank you for your question.

Thank you for your question, Cuckolding is a practice I have written about previously and a dynamic that I myself have practised. It appears that cuckolding and Ethical Non-Monogamy go hand in hand, but to answer your question, we need to separate fact from fiction and look at the realities.

First, let's explore what cuckolding is; for those who may not be familiar with it: Cuckold- The male partner in a cuckold relationship is often submissive and will give his consent for his female partner to engage in sexual acts with other men or women in front of him without any participation from him. He may also like humiliation or degradation. Cuckold men are often voyeurs. 

You have asked me for my thoughts on this, and I will be honest with you. It sounds like this fantasy is one that you have given a great deal of thought to, and it's good that you recognise that there are risks involved. You are quite right about wanting to identify the risks, and when you are thinking of involving people from the 'vanilla world' in your fantasy scenarios, it can indeed be risky.

I wrote an article on 'Should I swing with my vanilla friends?'- you may want to check it out.

Firstly, wanting to involve someone who is already associated with your life in a non-sexual/non-intimate way can cause you problems in the long run as emotions can impact this existing partnership or dynamic, and it could result in a scenario that doesn't end well in your favour.

Secondly, is this fantasy something your wife has spoken of, or is it purely yours? I have found that initially, many women do not naturally take cuckolding, and it can, at first, be quite alien to them, as it's a dynamic that many women do not naturally align with. Instead of springing any type of third-party scenario on her (which is a lot to get your head around initially), I would suggest you have conversations about cuckolding, maybe look for some workshops or educational videos online and see how she feels about it, without any mention of involving other people, especially not your boss!

If she has already spoken about cuckolding and it is something she would like to explore, then I still suggest you move away from the boss scenario as there are other, more viable options!

ENM, I believe, has the answers. Let's take the above scenario and ask How this fantasy could be made into a reality without participating in Ethical Non-Monogamy. The answer is that it can't. It simply wouldn't work. Yes, you could approach your boss and tell them of your desires, but you would still need each person to establish rules and boundaries and have a clear understanding of the roles to be played. And what if your boss turns around and rejects the idea and judges you?

We can never guarantee how others will react, and when you want to mix your fantasies with people in your real life, the stakes can be high. Would the average Joe be okay with the husband watching as he had sex with his wife? In reality, probably not. On paper, it may sound straightforward, but without a proper understanding of a cuckold dynamic and an ENM relationship, you might be causing a lot of problems for yourself.

However, within the realms of Ethical Non-Monogamy, cuckolding fantasies can be made a reality; there's no shortage of single men to choose from. Within the lifestyle, so many amazing people would love to play the role of a bull and make fantastic swinger-play partners. People who want to experience what you want to experience and share similar desires that you have. People who just 'get it. 

Yes, you may have this fantasy that you want to make a reality, but you need to look at the bigger picture and what this could potentially jeopardise. Ultimately, it's going to be a lot easier and a lot less risky to broach the subject with a single male in a swingers club or online than with your boss, who might be absolutely horrified.

Rosie x

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