She said his penis was small, and now things are awkward! Help!

She said his penis was small, and now things are awkward!

Help! Hi there; recently, my wife and I had an interaction with another couple we met online and had become friendly with. After we had all finished playing, my wife revealed to me that she thought the other bloke's penis was quite small and didn't want to meet up with them again. This has now caused an issue as my wife doesn't want a repeat, but the other girl does. We are friends with this couple, and now things are a bit awkward when we speak with them. Sometimes, they ask us if we would like to play with them again, and we don't know what to say- it just feels awkward. Please can you help us?

Hello, awkward couple; thank you for your message.

I want to reassure you that you are not alone in experiencing this type of difficult situation. Sometimes, we have every intention of following through with our prior discussions or wish that others were a particular way, but unfortunately, life comes in many different shapes and sizes, and how we feel towards someone or about someone can change, even if this is not our intention.

Whether it is something physical that contributes towards this, something in someone's character, or your limits change, there are times when we suddenly realise that a situation or person doesn’t feel right for us (excuse the pun), and it can leave us feeling all kinds of awkward when we wish to address it. I can imagine that it is quite awkward when you speak with this couple, as the last thing you want to do is tell them that your wife finds him less appealing due to his penis size, as this could be pretty offensive. Suppose you still want to maintain some physical involvement with this couple. In that case, you will need to re-establish your boundaries with them and discuss whether soft swapping or other forms of intimacy are an option for them. If not, it may be best to tell them you're not looking to be intimate with them again; I think the longer you 'entertain' them, the more hope they will have that you will play with them again; remember that neither of you should go through with playing with them or being intimate with them to be polite, so you need to make a decision.

Speaking up about how you are feeling is never easy, and I'm sure many people reading this will think that your wife is being unfairly judgmental. But we all have different preferences for body types, sizes, shapes, et cetera, and your wife is entitled to have her preferences. Sometimes, we feel we are being judgmental when we reject others, but we can't always turn off how we feel about someone or something.

Unfortunately, in a situation like this, it's hard to have the conversation and not come off looking like the bad guy or bad girl, but sometimes we have to accept that we can't avoid how other people will view us, regardless of whether you decide to change how you play or whether you cut ties with them completely. I understand how difficult it can be to cut a relationship with other swingers, especially if you have worked hard at maintaining your friendship with them- sometimes, it can be so hard to find people we connect with! I don't think the penis size is the issue here; when meeting others, there will always be factors that will arise that will determine whether you wish to meet with a couple again or not.

To avoid this type of awkward situation occurring again in the future, you could try only playing with people in swingers clubs- where you can have fun and be social but leave the interactions well and truly inside the club. This way, there is no friendship to maintain or obligation to speak with them afterwards. Yes, this may sound a little cold, but in reality, many couples operate.

I hope this has helped you. 

Rosie x