I'm scared of accidentally catching an STI or STD when swinging.

I'm scared of accidentally catching an STI or STD when swinging.

Hi Rosie, I am unsure if this is the right place to ask this question, but I am not sure who else to ask. I looked on Google, but I found the search results confusing. So here goes! I have been wanting to visit a swingers club for some time now, as I find it a massive turn on the thought of meeting with couples, and I am especially keen to be part of an MMF threesome. But I am really scared of accidentally catching an STI or STD. I am, of course, absolutely going to insist on using condoms, but I am worried in case there are other STIs or STDs that condoms cannot protect from.

Also, I was wondering if there are STIs or STDs that are more common in the lifestyle. 

I might be massively overthinking this, but I just want to be safe! Sorry if this is too many questions; I want to be as prepared as possible.

Signed: Scared but excited!

Hi, Scared but excited, firstly I want to reassure you that you will not be alone in wanting to find answers to your questions and also being conscious of the fact that there are STIs that can still be contracted even when you do use condoms, is for me a green flag- you are a conscientious swinger in the making!

When looking for information online regarding STIs and STDs, it can soon get confusing when you are unfamiliar with the terminology, so I have put this forward: STD stands for "sexually transmitted disease," and STI stands for "sexually transmitted infection." But no matter which terms people use, they're talking about the same thing: infections that get passed from one person to another during sex. For the purpose of this response, I will use the term STI to avoid any further confusion.

We are all familiar with the importance of using condoms to prevent the spread of infection, but what if the STIs are external, for example, crabs, herpes and genital warts? Herpes is an infection that may be present in an area of the body that condoms cannot protect against. It can enter the body through the moist skin of the mouth, penis, vagina and rectum. It causes blisters that can be present on the mouth (cold sores) or inner thighs, as well as internally in the vagina and around the penis and rectum. Herpes is unsightly and painful but, luckily, easily treatable.

Unfortunately, once you have contracted it, you will be a carrier, as it is a disease and not an infection. But flare-ups are less aggressive than the initial infection. Sometimes, herpes doesn't always form blisters, so it can be hard to spot, in which case condoms are the best means of protection. 

Crabs, again, condoms won't protect you here, but it's important to remember that being vigilant as to who you are playing with and where really should be key here. I'm not saying that you perform an inspection, but if you notice any of the following, politely pass; irritated skin caused by scratching specks of blood on the skin, blue specks on the skin, black powder in the underwear (crab poo) or you might see the actual crabs and their eggs- they look like tiny brown specks. 

Luckily, crabs are easily treated by over-the-counter medicine purchased at the chemist. Plus, it's worth remembering that crabs are not unique to the pubic area and can easily be transferred from armpit hair and other body hair areas. They can also be caught easily by sharing towels, bedding, and clothing. So again, be conscious of your swinger setting!

Genital Warts Before we start talking about genital warts, it's really important to get clued up about what causes them. In most cases, genital warts are caused by HPV types 6 and 11; these types do not cause cancer of the cervix, vulva, anus or penis. However, HPV types 16 and 18 can cause cell changes that may lead to cancer. Genital warts are small fleshy growths, bumps and clusters that may appear anywhere from the genitals to the anus and the upper thighs. During sex, genital warts are passed on:

• When someone's skin touches another person's warts, you may not see if the wart is internal.
• Through genital contact
• Sharing sex toys
• Rarely, through oral sex

So, how can you protect yourself against genital warts? The best way is by using condoms, especially as warts can be internal. And if you do find them present, avoid touching them.

Moving on to the other question you sent me regarding the most common STIs associated with teh lifestyle, it's important to be aware that there are, in fact, over 30 different types of STIs, so protection is, I believe, vital when playing! But some of these you will never hear of when swinging, and others, like the ones I have mentioned below, will be on people's radar.  Engaging in consensual non-monogamy can increase the number of sexual partners, which in turn can raise the risk of exposure to STIs. Practising safe sex and regular testing is key to staying healthy. Two of the most common STIs associated with the lifestyle are chlamydia and gonorrhoea.

Chlamydia. The symptoms of chlamydia are often, unfortunately, asymptomatic, which is why regular testing is important. But when symptoms occur, they may include genital discharge, burning during urination, and pain during intercourse. Chlamydia is transferred via vaginal, anal, or oral sex with an infected person. You can easily protect yourself from chlamydia by using condoms or dental dams, regular screening, and communication with partners; luckily, it is easily treatable with antibiotics.

Gonorrhea. Symptoms are similar to chlamydia—painful urination, abnormal discharge, and, sometimes, no symptoms at all, so again getting checked reguarly is key. Gonorrhoea is spread through sexual contact, including vaginal, anal, or oral sex. To prevent contracting Gonoreaha, I recommend the use of use of condoms or dental dams and, of course, regular testing. Gonorrhoea is treated with antibiotics, though there is growing concern over antibiotic-resistant strains. 

Getting tested regularly and also always insisting on using condoms are two ways to remain happy and healthy when swinging, and remember that communicating your limits and boundaries regarding safe sex is so important! 

Rosie xx

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