We feel our faces don't fit in the swinger lifestyle.

Hi Rosie, First of all, we really love your videos.

They have helped us to explore the swingers' lifestyle. We have a quick question about swingers clubs. We recently tried to join Le Boudoir in London, but they came back with this response.

"We realise this might disappoint, but because we are heavily subscribed across all of the membership categories, we do not always accept an application. We genuinely wish you better luck elsewhere. Other clubs in and around London may have the capacity for new members. you could try: The Old Hellfire Club, OurPlace4Fun (OP4F), Abfab Parties, Rios Spa Kentish Town"

My question is, have you or any of the people you have helped ever had this rejection? I feel it's a case of our face that doesn't fit their criteria as we have not been refused membership to any other clubs. This has knocked our confidence slightly, which is annoying as we have only had positive experiences.

Thanks in advance, M and W- London 

Hi M and W, 

It's completely understandable to feel discouraged when it seems like your face doesn't fit in the swinging scene.

It's a common experience, and it can be tough! Le Boudoir, like many clubs, sometimes have to turn people away due to capacity, even if they seem like a perfect fit on paper. It's not necessarily a reflection on you! First things first, it's always good to double-check you've ticked all the boxes a club or group requires. They often have specific steps, from profile completion to meet-and-greets or ID verification. Making sure you've "jumped through their hoops" can definitely help.

But here's the really important part: rejection happens. It can happen in any social setting, whether it's trying out for a sports team, joining a book club, or exploring the swinging lifestyle. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, we just don't click with certain people, and that's okay! It's not a reflection of your worth or your attractiveness. Think of it this way: if a group rejects you, maybe it's a sign that those people simply aren't your people.

There are so many different personalities and preferences out there, and finding your tribe takes time. It's like a restaurant being fully booked – they're not saying they dislike you, just that they don't have space right now. It can sting, I know. Rejection is never fun. But try not to take it personally.

It's easy to get discouraged, especially after positive experiences elsewhere, but every club has its own vibe. Just because one isn't the right fit at this time doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.

Here are some top tips for what to do when you feel your face doesn't fit when swinging:

• Don't take it personally: It's rarely about you specifically. Clubs have their own dynamics and limitations.
• Double-check requirements: Ensure you've followed all the club's guidelines and application steps.
• Explore other options: There are many clubs and groups out there. Keep researching and trying different ones until you find your community. 
• Focus on what you bring: You have unique qualities and experiences to offer. Confidence and positive energy are attractive!
• Be patient: Finding the right connections takes time.
• Don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen immediately.
• Remember you're not alone: Many people experience similar feelings.
• Talk to trusted friends or mentors in the lifestyle for support.
• Keep enjoying the journey: Swinging should be fun!

Don't let a few rejections derail your enjoyment. You will find your tribe. Keep putting yourself out there, keep connecting, and you'll find the people who appreciate you for who you are.

And remember, you've got this!

Love, 

Rosie x