When Should We Take The Next Step?

Hi Rosie, my wife and I have been together since we were 14, have become curious about being swingers. We have recently been to a swinger club in Spain a few times, and we both find it very exciting. We have only had sex with each other without anyone else, but we think we want to explore further with a threesome or other couples. How do we know we are ready for that? Carlos- Madrid

Hi Carlos, It's fantastic that you and your wife are exploring this new chapter in your relationship! It sounds like you're both excited about the possibilities, and that's a great foundation. There's no single "right time" to take the next step in the swinger lifestyle. It's a very personal decision, and it's different for everyone. Some couples dive right in, while others take a more gradual approach. The key is to make sure you're both completely comfortable and on the same page before moving forward.

Here are a few things to consider:

Have you established clear rules and boundaries? This is crucial for any ENM relationship. Discuss what you're both comfortable with, what's off-limits, and how you'll handle any potential jealousy or insecurities.

Have you talked openly about your fears and concerns? It's natural to have some anxieties when exploring new territory. Create a safe space for honest communication and address any worries head-on.

Are you both genuinely enthusiastic about taking the next step? It's important that this decision is mutual and not driven by pressure or a desire to please the other person.

If you can answer "yes" to these questions, you're likely in a good place to move forward. But remember, there's no rush! Take your time, explore at your own pace, and keep the lines of communication open.

Here are a few tips to help you navigate this stage:

• Don't pressure each other: Make sure any decisions are made together, without any pressure or coercion.
• Communicate openly and honestly: Talk about your feelings, desires, and boundaries.
• Don't rush to make it happen: Allow things to unfold naturally. The right opportunity will present itself when the time is right.
• Go further only when you're both ready: Don't feel pressured to move faster than you're comfortable with.

It's wonderful that you've been together for so long and are now embarking on this exciting adventure together. Remember to prioritize your connection, communicate openly, and have fun!

Love, 

Rosie x