CNM4US Mission

This purpose of this website is to create a sex-positive space for people to explore consensual non-monogamy.

1. Collaborate
2. Cooperate
3. Communicate
4. Explore
5. Express yourself

Interacting with other members; posting, commenting, chatting.

• When someone does not respond to your communication, that is to be considered a polite "No Thank You". No one is entitled to interactions from other members. Nobody owes anyone else an explanation for why they are not interested.
• Don't Yuk somebody else's Yum. It's fine to let people know what DOES and DOES NOT turn you on. There's no need to disparage other people's kinks.
• Offer your experience to other members to the extent that they find it helpful.
• Don't offer advice if none was requested.
• Don't play the gatekeeper. It's not up to you whether someone belongs in the lifestyle. If they ask, you can point out risks and opportunities. But please, no blanket judgements.
• Everyone has a right to speak about THEIR OWN thoughts, feelings, and perceptions regarding THEIR OWN life experiences.
• Do not disparage other individuals or groups. Do not assert or imply that someone has malicious intention, insufficient intelligence, or poor character.
• Focus on finding common ground rather than belaboring your differences. Avoid being judgemental, inflammatory, and vitriolic.
• Don't spread conspiracy theories or misinformation. If you don't have a credible source, then it not a fact--it's just your opinion.
• Don't post advertisements or spam.
• Solicitation of sex in exchange for money or items of value is not allowed.
• The audio call feature is meant to allow members to screen potential play partners. It is not meant to provide phone sex services.

Please see the blog post: Communication Guidelines—Don't Yuk Someone's Yum

Single Men--Is your Contact Welcome?

Single Men--You are welcome here! There are lots of reasons why members seek out single males.

• Swingle women looking for a partner in crime.
• A member looking for an MFM scenario
• A member looking for a bull for a cuckold scenario.
• A member looking for a gang bang scenario.

HOWEVER, some members especially want to avoid contact with single men. They may be new and very tentative about the scene. Your ardent energy is not welcome. Or, they might only be interested in other couples or women.

Every Member's Profile Information area has a question called: Single Male Contact

The possible answers are as follows

• _Blank_ (OK to contact)
• Single males may reach out and contact us (OK to contact)
• Single males may contact us if they've completed ID Verification and Criminal Background Check (OK to contact - if you've completed these)
• We will initiate contact with single males if the mood strikes us (Do not contact)
• We do not wish any contact from single males (Do not contact)

Single Men, contacting members who have clearly indicated they do not want contact from single men will get you banned from the site.

LOOK at members profile information to understand their preference. BTW--you can also search on that question in the Member's Search.

High Conlflict People

We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Trolling other users is expressly forbidden. We understand that anyone can have a bad day and respond in a grumpy manner to someone. However, if we find a user has a pattern of seeking or causing conflict, we will ban them from the site. There is no exact formula or scoring system. It's up to the administrators. If someone is behaving in an obnoxious manner, please, do not respond in kind. Your options are:

1. You can gently point them in the diretion of the Community Guidelines (this document).
2. You can REPORT them using the reporting feature. Reporting is anonymous. Administration regularly reviews reports. We expect to have to ban a certain number of high conflict people in order to maintain a pleasant atmosphere for everyone else.

Use the Reporting Feature

Every Profile, Page, Group, Post, Photo, Comment ... has a reporting feature. We constantly review these reports. We depend on the community to keep this space civil and inclusive.

We encourage members to GENTLY and POLITELY call out people on violating the Community Guidelines. If they are able to apologize and correct their behavior, all is good. If they cannot take the hint, then don't play the enforcer. Use the reporting feature to contact Admin. If we see they ignored a polite warning, the consequences will be more severe for them.

Photos and Videos--What's Allowed What's Not Allowed, and What is Strictly Prohibited

What's Allowed: Nude and Erotic photos and videos are allowed--encouraged even! People in photos and videos can be completely nude. They can also be touching one another.

What's Not Allowed: Photos and videos must not be sexually explicit. That means

1. No gentital-to-genital contact
2. No penetration. Nothing inserted in a vagina or anus.
3. No oral sex.
4. No erect penises.
5. No simulated sex. Would an average person looking at a photo think that those people are having sex even though you cannot see the details? Yes, this one is a little fuzzy. The photo must have some element of plausible deniability. If the subjects are completey nude, then their posture and movements must not be too suggestive. If their posture and movements are very suggestive, then there must be some element of clothing to indicate that intercourse is not taking place.
6. No photos of any illegal activities. That includes drugs, violence, vandalism.

What is Strictly Prohibited:

1. All subjects in photos or videos must 18 years old or older.
2. Photos or videos must not appear violent, demeaning, or coercive in any way.
3. You must have ongoing consent from every subject in a photo or video to publish that photo or video here. If someone withdraws their consent to publish that photo or video, then you must remove it immediately.

BDSM Photos

This is a tricky area because photos that depict bondage imply non-consent, even when the situation is, in fact, consensual. We want to allow BDSM related photos, while at the same time we do not tolerate photos which are demeaning or non-consensual in nature. Below are our current guidelines. BDSM related photos, like all photos, are subject to review by Administration for their appropriateness.

Context and Consent Indicators

• Relaxed Posture: Photos should depict individuals who appear relaxed, engaged, or at ease. This is subjective, but if a posture feels strained, tense, or involuntary, it might warrant closer review.
• BDSM Attire and Setting: BDSM-related images should clearly feature recognizable, non-threatening elements of kink fashion or settings that indicate a consensual BDSM aesthetic. This can include things like styled cuffs, laced corsets, or posed imagery with an artistic vibe.
• Visible Indicators of Consent and Control: Poses or compositions that feel overly aggressive or coercive (e.g., binding someone’s mouth or face or showing restrained limbs in a way that looks painful) should generally be avoided unless there is a visible counterbalance, such as relaxed body language or the subject’s visible engagement or control.

Avoiding Harmful Tropes or Ambiguity

• No Depictions of Force or Pain: Images that evoke non-consensual violence, such as overt displays of force or simulated pain, would be outside the community standards.
• No Degradation Themes: Content implying degradation, like forced submission or humiliation without clear signs of consent or comfort from all involved, should be excluded. Focus on images where individuals look empowered or in control of their experience.
• Focus on Style, Not Explicit Acts: BDSM fashion, light restraint, and artistic styling are acceptable, but anything that crosses into explicit acts or scenes of extreme restraint (e.g., fully immobilized bondage or gagged participants) should generally be avoided unless you’re confident the subject appears comfortable and empowered.

Descriptions (Oral or Written)

Your descriptions of sex in writing, audio, or video, may be as explicit as you wish. CC Bill, our Payment Service Provider, is tasked by MasterCard and Visa to ensure that sex-trafficking is not taking place. If there is no actual sex taking place, then there can be no sex-trafficking taking place. Therefore, your descriptions may be as explicit as you wish.

However, CNM4US rules still apply. While descriptions may be very sexually explicit, they must still be

• Sex-positive
• Inclusive
• Women-oriented

Descriptions that are abusive, exploitive, violent, demeaning, or non-consenual, etc. are not acceptable.

No Unsolicited Dick Pics

Firstly, because the site does not allow photos of erect penises, posting photos of erect penises will get you banned due to their sexually explicit nature.

Secondly, women get bombarded with unsolicited dick pics on lifestyle websites, vanilla dating sites, and just regular every day life.

Guys, if someone wants you to send them a photo of your not-erect dick, they will tell you. And, by all means, if someone asks for it, you should absolutely feel free to send them one (or more).

If we verify a report from someone that you sent a dick pic, unsolicited, then you are going to get banned from the site.

When are Dick Pics Allowed?

Photos of penises are okay as long as they are not erect. Given that penises come in all shapes and sizes, "erect" is a little hard to define. If it stands at attention without assistance, it is most definitely "erect". As long as it is not standing at attention without assistance, images of penises are acceptable.

Dick Pics in Community Photos

Photos available to the community should not feature the penis as the STAR of the photo. Having the (non-erect) penis as a supporting character is acceptable. That means its part of a larger photo, not a close-up.

Dick Pics in Private Photos

Close ups of penises, which are not fully erect, can be placed in a photo folder which is NOT accessible to the general community. You can put them in folders accessible to Friends or in custom privacy folders.

Avatar Photos

Avatar photos are exposed to the public (even though your profile is not). NO avatar photos of penises, vaginas, or anuses!