Description

When Multiamory authors Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren started producing their advice show about polyamory and other non-traditional relationships, they received dozens of questions from listeners about all sorts of relationship quandaries and communication stalemates. They quickly found out that existing relationship tools weren't up to the task, and that conventional wisdom is sorely lacking for modern relationships. Many of the primary resources for relationship advice are frustratingly religious, unapproachable and academic, or alienating to anyone who falls outside the mainstream of heterosexual monogamy.

Over the course of many years and hundreds of episodes, they have spent hours nerding out over research, reading up on evidence-based relationship advice, and listening to the personal struggles of hundreds of couples and individuals. They have re-tooled commonplace communication frameworks to fit modern-day relationships, and when there was no existing tool that fit, they put on their inventor hats and developed their own. This has led to the creation of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships, a curated collection of the most popular communication tools, advice, and wisdom from the Multiamory podcast that have helped thousands of listeners improve their communication and create healthy relationships. In this book, you'll learn how to:

Get what you need out of conversations with your partner with the Triforce of Communication Create Microscripts that will interrupt old patterns, diffuse tension, and form better communication habits. Process and reconnect after an argument with Repair SHOP Determine your unique processing style, and how it may be clashing with your partner's Set up a regular RADAR check-in to support the long-term health of all of your relationships And more!

Main Themes:

1. Communication is Key: The book is all about providing practical, research-based communication tools for modern relationships. It's not just for polyamorous relationships but aims to be useful for all kinds of relationships.

2. The Triforce of Communication: One of the tools they discuss is the "Triforce of Communication," designed to help you get what you need out of conversations with your partner.

3. Microscripts: These are small, scripted dialogues that can help break old patterns and improve communication. They're like little hacks for your conversations.

4. Repair SHOP: This is a framework for processing and reconnecting after an argument. It's about mending fences and getting back on the same page.

5. Processing Styles: The book helps you identify your unique processing style and how it may clash with your partner's, offering ways to navigate those differences.

6. RADAR Check-ins: These are regular check-ins to support the long-term health of your relationships. Think of it as a relationship "state of the union" that you do periodically.

7. Inclusivity: The authors make it a point to be inclusive, acknowledging that a lot of existing relationship advice is either too religious, academic, or heteronormative.