Abstract

The paper argues for the value of compersion, a term used in non-monogamous communities to describe positive feelings towards a partner's intimacy with other people. The author challenges the idea that jealousy is a natural or virtuous emotional disposition, suggesting that compersion focuses on the flourishing of others and is not akin to pride, vicarious enjoyment, or masochistic pleasure.

Key Points

• What is Compersion?: Compersion is described as an emotional ideal within non-monogamous communities. It's the joy or positive feelings one experiences when their partner finds happiness or pleasure in another relationship.

• Jealousy vs. Compersion: The paper argues that jealousy is not a valuable emotional disposition and that its benefits are minor and unstable. In contrast, compersion focuses on the flourishing of others and requires a shift in attention away from possessiveness and entitlement.

• Cultivating Compersion: The author suggests that compersion can be cultivated by softening one's propensity to be jealous and by focusing on the well-being of others. This involves tackling possessiveness and entitlement, as well as redirecting attention.

• Beyond Romantic Relationships: While the term originated in non-monogamous communities, the paper argues that compersion is not confined to romantic life. It can also be experienced in friendships, familial relationships, and even professional settings.

• Ethical and Psychological Implications: The paper concludes by questioning the value of jealousy and argues for the cultivation of compersion as a more ethical and psychologically healthy alternative.

KEYWORDS: compersion, jealousy, emotions, non-monogamy, virtue

In jealousy there is more self-love than love.
(La Rochefoucauld [1671] 2007:91)